Who lives under a bridge... well, I should be moving there soon.
I can't stand bullies. Just hearing the word makes my blood boil. I wasn't bullied badly when I was younger, but I was bullied. It is those memories that get me all fired up. I'm passed all that pain in my life. But the memories make me extra sensitive to others who are being bullied... especially when it's my own kids.
Nathan, our 11 year old, seems to get bullied, or at least picked on (there might be a fine line difference) more than most kids. I don't know what it is. Maybe there something about his sensitive, tender, caring personality that other boys see as a weakness. Maybe his sense of humor and quick wit creates environments where the picking-on is retaliation. Maybe both, maybe neither.
Recently, our family was out with a large group of people. Nathan and some other boys mentioned several times that one older and bigger boy (I'll call him Joey) had been bullying them. At one point we were in a store and Nathan came (moving quickly) towards me and screamed. He did not know that I was there and when he saw me he immediately stopped. I corrected him to calm down. But I also noticed that Joey was close on his tail and he immediately turned and walked the other direction when he saw me.
I took an opportunity a little later to say something to Joey, in front of his mother. I wanted to say, "Look, if I catch you bullying Nathan, I'm going to knock you out." But I didn't. Instead, I carefully worded my comments so that I could address the issue without being offensive. So what I really said was, "Look, Nathan is interpreting what you're doing as bullying. So, next time you have the inclination to do something, just move along." That was it. End of conversation.
Now Joey's mom is mad at me for accusing her son without asking him what he did. I did not accuse Joey. I simply told him that his actions were being received as bullying. My hope was to make him realize that he should consider his actions and how they affect others... and make adjustments, if necessary.
To Bridge-ville I go.
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